Dear Singles.

“He farts all the time while sleeping. I am disgusted”

“He disgusts you?”

“Yes, Ediale he disgusts me”

“Hmmm. So is that why you are unhappy? Just that?”

“No. He is also very much untidy. He does no house cleaning. But he is good at messing things up. He doesn’t know how to use the toilet without getting on my nerves”

“Okay. How long did you guys dated or courted?”

“One month. I didn’t want long term dating. It doesn’t work for me. Guys leave me after 4 to 6 months.”

“And so you didn’t want him to leave you like others. So you quickly got him to marry you?”

“Yes, Ediale. Otherwise I won’t be married with a boy and a girl now. I am 41 years old now. Imagine if I was still single at this age”

“Is he disgusted about anything you do?”

“I am not sure. We fight. Now and then but he is mostly cool. He is usually the culprit when we fight”

“Meaning he starts the fights? Or he is the usually the cause? Two different things.”

“Well…he doesn’t start. He is usually the reason I start the fight”

“Okay. I understand. You married this man based on the many things about him that is right. You refused to get to know him well enough. Now he obliged to your demands. Got married. And he is wise enough to not complain about you or your deeds. But you are the one that is now tired and wants him to change. How can a grown man whose system is already programmed to fart repeatedly during sleep manage to change that now involuntary habit?”

“Hmmm. He can learn to use the toilet well and drop things properly in the house. Not drop clothes and stuffs anywhere”

“He doesn’t flush the toilet after use?”

“He does but…”

“Hmmm. He will change. Just keep telling him with love. And you can invest in a house cleaner. That should fix that. Focus on what is fixable. And also focus on his strengths and good sides”

“He is a good lover only in bed…”

“Oh, you say only. Do you know how that single thing has damaged many relationship? Enjoy your marriage madam. I am very sure this man won’t even oppose the decision to have separate bed rooms?”

“He won’t…but I just don’t want…”

“You see. That’s a simple solution. A simple choice. Stay in diff rooms and you won’t noticed his mad farts. But you like the pleasures he gives in bed. And how he can wake up at any time of the night to give you sugar. You like his big hands cuddling you at night. Madam manage the “mess”. (We laugh)”

Once married. The goal is to stay forever married.
So pick well and stay with your pick.
Don’t compromise in the dating period.
Whatever you don’t love during courtship or dating won’t magically change after marriage.

You won’t be single forever. Unless you have decided to go celibate and become a Catholic priest or Rev. Sister. But you can still decide to be single forever. A decision that’s hardly common.

Your Fart spotter
Ediale

ForTheCulture

PS: One idiot once said I can’t marry you if you don’t know how to fart out loud. One woman’s fart another woman’s pleasure.