Dear Moet Abebe,

Dear News Maker

We cover our eyes with the precious blood.

Thanks for the picture entertainment. We are entertained.

You do this every now and then. Giving us teasing pictures on Instagram.

I am doing my own entertainment tomorrow. Nobody should hold me please. I am showing some muscles tomorrow.

Enough is enough, I did not become the social media editor just so I can be frequently abused. You raped my eyes. I will revenge tomorrow.

I am so having my photo session.

I will put some oil on my body and tease the living daylight out of you all.

But wait o.

Is Abebe Moet married? Are you engaged? Hmmm.

Since Simi is married and taken. This doesn’t look like a bad replacement o. Since I am adding a side hustle to my runs. I should start dating Instagram Teaser girls.

Afterall, we are co journalists. You do TV and radio. We can cope as media couple. Let’s pepper Simi and Adekunle Gold.


Will my mummy like you so?

She doesn’t like people who show too much flesh online.

Yeah, she’s old school like that. MFM woman. But… She won’t know. She doesn’t do social media.

The only challenge now is if I can convince you to dress up properly while we go see her.


How do I do this?

Well I also need to be sure you fit the latest Buggati I intend buying.

Before we are done with first stage dating and getting to know each others better, I would have paid fully for the car.

Yes, I am buying the car in pieces.

Yes, we don’t know each other well enough.

We see at Press Conferences. You repping Sound City. Me repping my media house. But that’s all. We don’t even say hi.

Although many times I have said hi to your ass.

And your ass often returns back my greetings. I am more in talking terms with that part of your body.
I don’t know if your ass ever told you about me.


Been friends with her a long time ago now. I always look forward to seeing her at press conferences.

You are blessed. Not so many ladies are equipped with a talking ass.

But I can’t have her without your permission. I have never seen anyone put a ring on an ass. It comes together with the full body.

So I think it’s time I start that talking relationship with you. Before it’s too late.

Thats how I wasted time with Omotola and Captain came. I wasted time with Simi and Adekunle came.

But do I truly like you like that? No disrespect, your backside has good manners. She’s a wife material. But I also need to know the carrier.

We have some few things in common though. I studied accounting but now a media practitioner. You studied law but you are now a media babe too.

You even act in movies nowadays too.

I hear you have a food business on the side too. Super babe.

“Rich man pikin”.

Well. Let me think of what innocent crime to do so I can send you a befitting Valentine Gift.

I can buy you a house but what if you end up friendzoning me.

How then do I recover my father’s house?

Yeah the plan is to present you my dad’s house.

His only house in Lagos. I will just chase away the tenants and re-paint. But what if you we don’t go ahead to become man and wife?

“Yawa go dey o”.

House will be returned o.

But I will take the risk.

Your Val Body spotter,

PS: Now I understand that Esther’s mathematical problem. She asked us a simple question. If Paul has N50k and Joy smiled for Paul. How much does Paul have left?

I can relate now. Cos imagine I have N5m and Moet Abebe comes to house and lost her shirt buttons in my room like this. How much will Ediale have after she’s gone?

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