Dear Jay Boogie: Welcome to showbiz

Dear News Maker

Dear Jay Boogie,

How market? We welcome you to the world of showbiz. From being Chinonso Okonkwo to Jay Boogie, you have transformed into another Bobrisky.
Congratulations. You made it.

It’s your life. Your world. Your hard butts that will suffer the softening process. It’s your head that will suffer the piercings. Not mine. So why should I have a problem with you? After all, Bobrisky already made a post (composed for him or her by one of his publicists) saying her lifestyle doesn’t affect our GDP.

So go ahead enjoy the new life. Life of a crossdresser. But why that name? That name is a cheat. Crossdresser paints a different picture. It’s not as if you only just dress in ladies’ wear. No, you are transformed. You fix what women fix. You destroy the masculine features on you and appear as a babe.

I should have no problem at all with it. But please don’t pose and put your hard butts out. I beg you in the name of the several petty jujus in your back pocket. Please and please, don’t wear that bum-shot and pose in a way that shoots your dry butt out.

It irritates me. I am sorry. And that’s the only problem I have. Kids ask a lot of questions. I don’t want kids around me asking me what happened to you. I don’t want to tell them the damaging truth. And I also don’t want to lie. So please keep your stubborn ass in your leggings.

I wish you well. In no small-time you guys will increase in numbers. And that’s when the fight will start. Then Bob will say he was the first to start the whole shit. And starts to demand respect. As usual, the newcomers will be very disrespectful and daring. All the things Bob is faking about. One idiot will just come from nowhere to do them.

“No be here we dey?”

We shall see it.

One crossdresser will show us his surgically replaced private organ. Just for bragging rights.

At age 21, this is surely a bold step for you. But I hear that’s how you guys from Portharcourt are. You guys are bold out there.

Welcome. It’s showtime. Come give Bobrisky a run for his money. You even seem prettier. Only that butt, I just never want to see.

Hide them.

Your Bold Ass spotter,

PS: See how you have wasted this sweet name. Jay Boogie should be the name of one badass musician. Now people like Jaywon need to be scared. Because one day somebody will mistakenly introduce him as Jay Boogie.

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