Dear Kanye: Welcome to Nigeria’s gospel business

Dear News Maker

Dear Kanye,


You are born again!

Amazing.

You don’t stop to amaze.

You do things.

This is another level.

It seems to be the sure deal. You are born again. You are repented. You are a new man.

Old things are passed away.

Well.

What do we do with this story?

We know you. And like I said you do amazing things.

And we have various theories to your new-found love for Jesus.

However, this is not the first time you are doing Jesus. This new Gospel Album is not the first time you are singing about the gospel of Christ.

What we may not be able to ascertain is how true and real you are.

We know you for many things.

Jesus Works may have been a very loud song then. But you didn’t really consider yourself a repented Christian then.

Between then and now you have made headlines for things that may not have suggested your path with Christ.

But now the headline is about you and your gospel album. You even made some songs with your church choir.

And this is cool. Especially if it’s deeper than what we imagine.

I do imagine things a lot.

Don’t mind me. I am born to imagine things.

I imagine you are doing gospel music for the expanded benefits.

Which is not bad. The gospel of Christ has been referred to as the ‘good news’. So it’s not a bad thing if a man decides to tap into it for the good therein.

Having a gospel album could be a strategic way to expand your listening base. I imagine it could. It could also be a reinventing project.

But the silliest of my imagination is quite annoying if I put my self in your shoes.

I, being naughty, imagine you need a divorce that will not hurt you and you decide to adopt this strategy.

We know how the Kardashians built their name and financial success. How the girls have used men to climb. How the ladies have dealt with the men in their lives. Or how men don’t do so well after crossing paths with the first ladies of the material world.

That Kardashian curse that doesn’t favor men in relationships with them.

It was a fear many also had when you got married to Kim. We started feeling for you tho’.

But now, with you being born-again. Perhaps you are ready to break the curse. Or you are strategically positioning yourself for a soft landing separation.

Don’t mind me I imagine crazy things.

I have even imagined that this is your own way of trying to consolidate your financial future.

I am guessing so, because of your move.

First, you dared into Politics. Now you ventured into The Gospel Of Christ. I can only begin to imagine the hundreds of churches. Across the globe that would invite you to minister.

See… You can write Nigeria in gold on your list.

Our pastors down here are super-wealthy. They will invite you and pay you outrageous money. We have super mega gospel concerts like The Experience too.

Pastor Adefarasin, Pastor T.B Joshua, Pastor Chris, the other Pastor Chris, and one more Pastor Chris, then Pastor Adeboye, Pastor Oyedepo, Bishop Mike, Pastor Eneche, Apostle Suleman…

The list can continue in another ten paragraphs. These ministers are loaded. They can change your life, astronomically. And that’s no joke. Their ministries are blessed and expanded and you on a handbill would be sometime else.

I do not kid.

You wouldn’t even miss the secular world like that. Most of the anointed men of God have services that are so hip hop! You will be jamming!

“Jamming in the name of the lord!”

And meeeehn, you will be so rich as well.

You just need to reach out to them. You or your team. I know you once took DBanj away from his Mo Hits mansion, into a room your platform.

He was so happy then about your deed. I think it changed him. Not so sure if it was for good. That story is for another day. But I am sure he was glad you showed him that love.

And he would definitely, gladly help become your Nigerian connect down here.

We spotted you doing some Fela over some Wizkid joint one time as well. So yes, you will have a lot of Nigerian support. But Wizkid isn’t ready to do gospel.

No that will mean no Tiwa’s ass-grabbing for him. That will mean no Tiwa’s lips-locking too. That will be too much loss for brother Wizzy.

It will be like pouring a chicken stew away for him. And this Wizzy likes his stew and chicken.

But you will definitely have their support down here.

And what will you do with Kim now? Is Kim ready to accept Jesus as her personal Lord and savior?

Because as Christians we are taught to cover our ‘Yansh‘. Opening of ‘Yanshes’ and Christianity really doesn’t match. And here we call our senior minister’s wife, mummy!

A mummy that exposes her butt on the front pages of magazines would not be palatable news down here (I think even down there too).

Salvation is personal though. So maybe you are the one prepared for Jesus. And Kim can still be Keeping Up With Her ‘Expositions’.

I will help you send a letter to her though. Maybe if I talk to her she will listen. I would have loved to speak directly into her ears. But I must confess that will be too much for me.

I still remember her video with Ray. I also can’t remove that image of her nude pose from my head. The one she did with Paper Magazine. Where she broke the internet with her ass.

I could be broken beyond repair. So I pass. I will send a simple letter to her instead.

So Kanye, come down here and have some fun. JoePraize, Sinach, Chioma Jesus and a host of gospel musicians would be here to welcome you.

And please…don’t become another R. Kelly. Don’t sing gospel today and go back singing ‘Soapy’.

I know you don’t know what soapy means. I would have asked you to ask Naira Marley. But…

I don’t trust Naira Marley. He could lead you straight back to the ‘world’.

Your Gospel spotter,
Ediale
#ForTheCulture

PS: When I grow up. I want to be like you. After tasting Kim, what else is there to taste. May we be blessed by such sweetness that makes us do great stuff, from deciding to become U.S President to attempting to become the Christian’s President.

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