Dear Nicki Minaj: N400m wedding ring is not ‘Petty’

Dear News Maker

Dear Nicki Minaj,

Your royal sexiness, lord of ass, goddess of curve, queen of rap and wife to a killer.

How is the killer doing? (Should I say, ex killer?)

Yes, we are aware of your marriage to Kenneth Petty. And trust me I understand how these things work. I am not calling Ken a killer to paint a black man with a dark color.

No, if I have a choice, I will paint him in pink. But as a Social Media Editor, I use the names the citizens of the net (Netizens) call him.

Wendy Williams called him a killer and she also said some other stuff that really attacks your person.

She wonders how a ‘plastic’ body would react to pregnancy.

Yeah, she’s a crazy woman.

She shouldn’t be attacking a fine hardworking woman like you. You made your choices. You chose Ken and no one should be petty about it.

And you could be doing this for many reasons.

Wait a sec.

You do have your reasons. What if someone woman your elder brother finds attractive refuse to return the love because he was a sex criminal.

Yeah, we all knew what happened in 2017. How Jelani (your big bro) sexually assaulted his then-11-year-old stepdaughter.


How did gospel-singing parents raise kids as such?

Your father was a finance expert. Himself and your mum were gospel artistes.

Well, I understand dad had his own demons too.

Your dad fell to alcohol and drugs. That demon so consumed him that one day he burnt down the house with fire!

I imagine how that day must have been for your mum and the kids (you, Jelani, Maya, Micaiah, and Ming).

I guess those domestic issues prepared you for the future. And you have also shared some thoughts on how you dislike the way your parents raised you.

You said there was little discipline in the house. Your mom motivated you, but it wasn’t a strict household. “I kind of wanted a strict household,” you said.


Would things have been different for you if you had strict parents?


You would have been a lot different too and won’t be wife to a guy who was previously convicted of first-degree attempted rape and also served time in jail for first-degree manslaughter.

But as you defended…

That was a long time ago.

And you said “He was 15, she was 16 … in a relationship. But go awf, internet. y’all can’t run my life. Y’all can’t even run y’all own life. Thank you boo”.

That’s a point though.

I wish you luck.

But who needs luck with a wedding ring worth N400m?!

That ring alone is a sermon.

I think you should wear that ring to the workplaces you were sacked. Just to pepper them and be ‘petty’.

After all, you are now Mrs. Petty.

All 15 places you worked after a failed acting career.

I heard they all sacked you for bad attitude (discourtesy to customers).

Meanwhile, enjoy your marriage. And why do I find it difficult to believe what you said about retiring to focus on marriage?

Well, your life, your choice, your glory, your shine.

Congratulations on becoming Mrs. Petty!

Your Not-So-Petty Ass spotter,
PS: Eventually, every bad girl needs a man (either good or bad).

Leave a Reply